Monday, January 30, 2012

Something New

Ok, so I tried falling asleep last night, but this practically wrote itself in my mind keeping me somewhat awake for quite some time.  I figured I should probably get it out of my head when I got home today, so here it is...

BTW, if you want to read more, let me know and I will post every couple of days that I write this...

            She sat on her mom's floral couch purposely on the opposite side from Brian quietly wishing he would leave.  She'd broken up with him weeks ago, but he still stopped by every day to hang out making the situation that much more awkward.  Why didn't he get the joke that it was over? After two years together, he should know by now this time was for real.  But Kayla couldn't find the words or the guts to hurt him enough to make him come to terms with reality, so instead, they watched TV in silence. 

            Her phone rang in her hand and Derek's number popped up on the screen. She smiled to herself and ran down the hall of her little apartment where she could answer in the semi-privacy of her bedroom. "Hello?"

            "Hey," he greeted her.

            Excitement flooded her body as she heard his voice.  This was the first time she had hope happiness could exist in a long time, but guilt from Brian down the hall crept in as well. "Hi, how are you?"

            "I'm good. How was school?" he asked knowing they'd only been apart for a few hours.

            "It was alright. How about you?" The small talk killed her, but she knew it was necessary at this stage of their brewing relationship.

            "It was cool. So I was thinking that we could go out this weekend," he jumped straight in.

            But before she could answer, Brian interrupted from the family room. "BABE! The movie is starting!"

            She covered the mouth piece of the phone hoping Derek hadn't heard. The last thing she wanted was to explain Brian to the boy she was starting to like.  "Hey, I gotta go.  Can I call you later?"

            "Um, sure," Derek answered, but she could hear the disappointment in his voice.

            "Hey, I do want to talk to you, but there's something I need to take care of first." She knew the time had come for her to put her foot down with Brian.  She'd never be able to move on if he was hanging around her house all the time.

            "Sure. I'll talk to you later."

            When she hung up her phone, she was exhausted and frustrated. She wanted to pursue things with Derek, but Brian was getting in the way. As she walked back down the hall, Brian was curled up on the couch with a soda in one hand and the remote in the other.  She took the moment to look at him with a new sense of direction. With his short brown hair and blue eyes, he wasn't bad looking.  For a long time, she'd admired how his volleyball player build gave him great legs and body without making him too bulky.  She'd loved that about him, but now there was...nothing.  How had it gotten this convoluted?

            "Brian, I think you should go home."

            He looked up and smiled.  "I will when this is over."

            Defeat took over. She didn't have the energy to fight with him, so she sat down instead and watched the movie on the opposite side of the couch without saying another word.

            The next day at school, she met up with Ethan, her best guy friend.  They met over a year ago and were inseparable.  "Ethan, I just don't get it. He won't stop coming over."

            "Kay, you've got to tell him it's over," he suggested.
            "Ethan, I broke up with him.  I'm not sure how much more I can say without tearing him apart."

            "I get it, but you've got to tell him something.  Anyway, I'll come over today. Maybe he'll get the gist from that," Ethan declared.

            "Ok, but don't get all guy with him. I don't want a fight." She was desperate for something to change and this may have been the ultimate solution.  Ethan was awesome, but it was clear they were just friends.  He didn't seem interested in the least. Plus, Derek was obviously into her. There were too many variables to think about and Brian shouldn't be in the picture any longer. "Why don't we go get a bite instead? I don't want to go home yet."

            "Ok, that works."

            After school, Kayla and Ethan went for a milkshake and hung out for what felt like forever. "Ethan, thanks for this afternoon. I needed it." She hugged him before getting in her car. "You're the best."

            "Anytime.  I'm here for you. You know that, right?" he asked hugging her back.

            When she pulled away, she was grateful for his friendship.  "I do. I'll call you later."

            "Bye," he said and she drove away.

            Her whole ride home she wondered what things would be like if he wasn't just her friend. He was entirely too cute for her, not to mention nice.  Just thinking about his rock hard abs and chest made her a little giddy. She even took a moment to imagine running her fingers through his chocolate curls, but snapped out of it remembering their friendship.  There was no chance in her mind. But when she pulled into the parking lot, Brian was sitting in his car waiting pulling her head first from her other thoughts.  Instead of being excited to see him, she sighed wondering if this would ever end.

            "What are you doing here?" she asked walking up to his truck's window.

            "I was waiting for you to get home. Where've you been?"

            "I went for something to eat with some friends." Never before had she been more irritated by his presence. "Brian, I've been out of school for over two hours.  How long have you been waiting for me?"

            "Only about thirty minutes.  I was going to leave if you didn't show up in another fifteen." His creeper status was rising an at exponential rate freaking her out to the core.

            This only irritated her even more.  "Ok, whatever." She walked past him to the stairs leading to her door.  She wasn't going to invite him, but he followed her regardless. 

            When they entered her apartment, she wished she wasn't alone all the time. If her mom had been home more often, maybe she wouldn't have been with him for so long.  Instead, for the past year, her mom had been off with her ex-step-dad "dating" on the weekends.  For six months, Kayla had been fending for herself every weekend staying with Brian only for the company.  But enough was enough.  She no longer wanted to be tied down to a guy she didn't like.

            "Brian, you need to take the rest of your stuff with you today," she said pointing to a bag of CDs and other miscellaneous belongings.

            He took a deep breath before answering, "Kayla, can we talk?"

            "What about?" she asked fearing what was about the happen.  She couldn't even sit down; instead, she shifted her weight and leaned on the back of a chair in her miniature kitchen.

            "I miss you. Can't we work this out?" He looked pathetic. 

            "No. We can't," she answered shocked at the courage forming in her stomach.

            He looked shocked, but he continued. "I love you. Please can we try this again. Don't you love me at all?"

            Those words were the ones she dreaded the most, but she knew deep down the truth had to be told. "No, I don't. It's over."

            He looked like she'd punched him in the stomach and ripped out his heart. "Oh."

            "Brian, we can still be friends," she instinctively offered wanting to make it less harsh than it had to be, but he flinched.

            "I can't be friends with you. I can't be around you anymore."  Tears spilled from his eyes as he pushed past her and walked out the door.

            There were no good-byes, just hurt feelings as she stood there in shock it was over.  But then she looked at the table and saw the bag. Shit, he's coming back. So she waited, and sure enough, the doorbell rang forty-five minutes later. There he stood with a bag for her.  It was everything she'd "left" at his house.  "I'm sorry," she said as they exchanged bags, but he didn't answer.  He just took his things, turned around, and walked down the stairs without another word said.

            When she shut the door, she sat on the floor bracing herself with the wall and cried.  Two years were over and done.  She didn't cry out of heartbreak, but rather from the end of a phase in her life.  Now she was finally free to move on, but how?


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