Well, my house is just about clean. I'm down to a couple of bedrooms and the kitchen, which my amazing husband has volunteered to clean. I should be done by Monday. My cold is leaving, all that remains is an annoying extremely disgusting loose cough that wakes me up in the middle of the night, but at least my nose isn't falling off any longer. I'm feeling better knowing that my hard work is paying off and I am beginning to feel more complete.
Quite a few people have commented on my facebook about my cleaning obsessiveness, but what they don't realize is that a clean house is in fact a sexy house. I don't mean that to sound pervy, but the reality is my house is the one thing I can control. If my home feels out of control, I can't truly wrap my mind around anything. Being an aspiring author (I hate to say aspiring because I write, I'm just not published) means that I have little control over anything. Sure I can write and control my characters making them do whatever I want, including things I would never do in real life, but once the story is written and polished, all I can do is sit and wait. I can control who I send my queries to, but I can't force agents to request partials/fulls, and I certainly can't force them to fall in love with my story and offer representation. I LOVE my WIPs with such a burning passion that I am absolutely floored when others don't. Love and Texts has been seeping from my pores for almost three and a half years. It has been rewritten, revised, polished, loved for most of that time and wants nothing more than to be on a book shelf of some place other than my house. I'm still not falling into the temptation of self-publishing, but it does cross my mind at least once a week. But then I remind myself that self publishing won't put it on the shelves of Target, and that's my goal. And being a control freak, this drives me crazy. I truly believe that being a writer means becoming obsessive compulsive and needing to find a balance that is there at times and other times, it's roller coaster hell.
This brings me back to a clean house is a sexy house - a mantra I've had for close to ten years. I'm a happier person when my house is clean. It clears my clouded mind allowing me to read and edit for friends, write whatever is plaguing my mind, and check my email with a calm in my soul. I send out queries with hope rather than "I'll just wait for the rejection." I am able to "see" myself getting requests and offers of representation when the rest of my world is under my control. I know this part of the roller coaster will change, but until then, I am revelling in a clean house.