Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Keeping it Real

I am in desperate need of a distraction today, so I am redirecting my energy on All's Fair in Love and Texts, my YA romance about Audrey, Sophie and Lucas navigating their way through senior year of high school.  I sent out my first five queries a couple of weeks ago, but with little response from the query, I revamped the query and have sent out five more.  I am taking this one extremely slow.  I've had a love of this manuscript for two years and am more passionate about it now than I ever was before, so Keridwen is on the back burner as I wait for responses to the remaining partials and full out there for the gods to review. 

After receiving a rejection on a full today, with no feedback, my husband has become my number one cheerleader.  He brought me flowers, cards, cheesecake, and wine to bandage my open wound of a soul.  I love him dearly for it.  He is truly my inspiration to continue on this quest for puiblication, for without him, I would have quit a long time ago.  He, above anyone else, believes in me and my writing which means the world to me.

After I read the rejection during my fifth hour class, I wanted to cry and throw my phone across the room, but he called me and gave me a pep talk others would be envious of.  It led me to think about what I wanted this blog to be about, or really, my blog in general.  I want it to be real.  One that others can relate to on the journey through hell.  I don't want to bad mouth agents or complain like a whiner, but I want people to understand that some rejections hurt more than others.  There are days when I feel like it doesn't matter...there is an agent out there for me.  Other days I want to click delete and stop writing altogether.  This has to be normal.  It just has to be.  I see these kids sitting in front me working so hard on their craft and chasing the same dream I do, and it gives me hope, but I know they will have to endure heartbreak just the same. 

My heart aches and my stomach turns, but there's a voice inside me saying don't stop.  Am I masochistic or am I just a writer?

3 comments:

  1. Don't give up. I also have a full with this agent (I'm another QTer) and after rejecting me last year (several agents made the same comments) I revised. And revised. And when I approached again, she remembered me and was happy to give it a re-look. So we'll see. Even if I get another reject I already know that my manuscript has come a long way from where it started. Good luck!

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  2. Jamie, you have every right to hurt. Let the wound bleed. Eventually, it scars over, and that's where you get the thick skin you'll need when you're out in the subbing world of this biz.

    Querying agents is bootcamp for subbing to publishers. Just because you're under an agent's wing, doesn't mean you don't get wet when the rains come. So this, this is training for the real war. Bleed and embrace that pain to become stronger.

    And you answered your own question already.

    Yes, my friend, you are a writer.

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  3. Thanks you guys for the words of encouragement. My pitty party is over now, so I'm ready to push forward. I typically only feel down for a day before moving forward and keep on with the querying. I'm glad to know that I'm not alone in all this. I also know this is only the beginning. :)

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