I am in desperate need of a distraction today, so I am redirecting my energy on All's Fair in Love and Texts, my YA romance about Audrey, Sophie and Lucas navigating their way through senior year of high school. I sent out my first five queries a couple of weeks ago, but with little response from the query, I revamped the query and have sent out five more. I am taking this one extremely slow. I've had a love of this manuscript for two years and am more passionate about it now than I ever was before, so Keridwen is on the back burner as I wait for responses to the remaining partials and full out there for the gods to review.
After receiving a rejection on a full today, with no feedback, my husband has become my number one cheerleader. He brought me flowers, cards, cheesecake, and wine to bandage my open wound of a soul. I love him dearly for it. He is truly my inspiration to continue on this quest for puiblication, for without him, I would have quit a long time ago. He, above anyone else, believes in me and my writing which means the world to me.
After I read the rejection during my fifth hour class, I wanted to cry and throw my phone across the room, but he called me and gave me a pep talk others would be envious of. It led me to think about what I wanted this blog to be about, or really, my blog in general. I want it to be real. One that others can relate to on the journey through hell. I don't want to bad mouth agents or complain like a whiner, but I want people to understand that some rejections hurt more than others. There are days when I feel like it doesn't matter...there is an agent out there for me. Other days I want to click delete and stop writing altogether. This has to be normal. It just has to be. I see these kids sitting in front me working so hard on their craft and chasing the same dream I do, and it gives me hope, but I know they will have to endure heartbreak just the same.
My heart aches and my stomach turns, but there's a voice inside me saying don't stop. Am I masochistic or am I just a writer?